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Tips for coming back into your child's life

Being a parent who doesn't get to see their children is difficult. When it is time to reconcile, you might feel excitement, but you may also feel afraid. This is perfectly normal because this is such a significant life change.

When reconciliation occurs, both parties -- the adult and the child -- need to prepare for what's going to happen. As a parent, you need to figure out what you can do to make things easier for them.

Take your time

You can't think that you will meet your child one day and that they will spend the weekend with you. Instead, focus on short meetings at first. You can gradually increase the time they spend with you. Not only does this help them to feel comfortable with the reunification, but it also makes it a bit easier for you to build a lasting relationship since it won't be as stressful as trying to start too quickly.

Accept help

During the reunification process, you might need to seek help. The best person to provide this can be the last person you want to ask for help – your child's other parent. Invite them to stay for the first few visits if your children are younger. This can help the kids to feel more secure and comfortable. It is best to set guidelines ahead of time so that everyone knows what's going to happen.

Find mutual activities

You need things to do with your children. Trying to find mutually enjoyable activities might not be easy. Find out what they like and do some of those things together. As your relationship matures, you can find new things to add and decide what special activities to include in your time with them.

Always maintain respect

The communication with your ex and the children must remain respectful. Being terse can lead to stress, which can work against you when you are trying to build a relationship with the kids. Plus, starting the parenting relationship with mutual respect benefits the situation since it sets a precedent for the remainder of the time you will work as a parenting team.

When you decide to reunite with your children, you need to ensure that the parenting plan addresses this fact. If you don't have parenting time in the document or if your time is severely limited, you may have to seek a modification.

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