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4 tips to find peace when your ex asks for divorce

Some people know when their marriage is nearing the end, but others are blindsided when their spouse tells them they are filing. The aftermath of the announcement might not be exactly what you expect. Thinking about some of the finer points of life after finding out you're going to divorce can help you to adjust to the situation.

On the top of your list is going to be living arrangements and working out the financial aspects of the split. As you move forward, you can also use these tips to keep your stress to a minimum.

Why a failed marriage does not mean a failed life

Relationships need to be invested in. People invest years of their time and huge amounts of emotional energy to maintain their relationships and to keep their marriage intact. When a marriage leads to a divorce, it is common to feel a profound sense of failure.

Most people conflate their marriage with their sense of identity. When their marriage fails, they feel like a failure too. Additionally, many can make the mistake of equating their failing at being a husband or wife as a failure at being a good parent.

Tips for coming back into your child's life

Being a parent who doesn't get to see their children is difficult. When it is time to reconcile, you might feel excitement, but you may also feel afraid. This is perfectly normal because this is such a significant life change.

When reconciliation occurs, both parties -- the adult and the child -- need to prepare for what's going to happen. As a parent, you need to figure out what you can do to make things easier for them.

Refusal to see a parent can signal underlying issues

Visitation with a parent is something that many children look forward to. However, some situations can make a child unwilling to spend time with a parent. This puts both parents in a precarious position because the court order regarding parenting time needs to be followed.

There are many reasons a child might not want to see their other parent. One of the first things you must do is ascertain the cause of the refusal. This information may help you to determine the best method to address the underlying problem.

Peavey Plaza revitalization is complete and ready for visitors!

Families who live in the Minneapolis area and those who come to visit can enjoy spending time at Peavey Plaza. A recent $10 million revitalization project has made the space more welcoming to everyone, including those who have mobility challenges. The process wasn't easy, and it required legal action before it could be completed.

The pool that stands in the middle of the plaza features beautiful fountains, but this part of the space proved to be very limiting for some. It wasn't the only area that presented challenges for those with limited mobility. The original design was developed 15 years prior to the Americans with Disabilities Act becoming law, and some improvements had been made to increase the usability by all.

Divide retirement accounts during a divorce

Complex divorces can be a challenge to work through, but getting everything divided must be a priority. You have to work through all the assets and debts that you amassed during the course of your marriage. This includes retirement accounts, which have some special considerations.

The way that you handle the retirement accounts depends primarily on what type of account it is. If you have an individual retirement account, or IRA, you will use the transfer incident to the divorce process to get it divided. If you have other types of retirement accounts, such as a 403(b) or 401(k), you need to have a qualified domestic relations order, or QDRO.

Give your children your time so they can adjust to divorce

Kids adjust to divorce, but it can take time. As someone who is a busy executive, the idea of a divorce can be daunting when it involves your kids, because you don't necessarily have a lot of time to sit down with them and guide them through the process. You and your spouse have always been very busy, but the divorce has completely changed the way you'll need to raise your children.

Though you are busy, it would be helpful to schedule in times to talk to your children, to spend a few hours with them doing things they love and to plan out how their custody schedule will look with their input. Think of it like a business deal: It will probably take more than one to get the job done, but each meeting will make the end result better.

Considerations for stay-at-home moms going through divorce

Being a stay-at-home mom is usually a wonderful experience for the women who have this opportunity. They might not be prepared for the possibility of having to forge a life on their own if the marriage ends. This situation happens more than some people realize, and the women who go through it are often left scrambling to make ends meet.

There are specific considerations that these stay-at-home mothers need to think about. You must find out how laws in Minnesota apply direct to your case. You can't base your decisions off what happened for someone else because even small differences in cases can have a big impact in the outcome.

When parents get along, divorce is easier on kids

As you may assume from what you've seen in the past, when you and your partner can get along, even during a divorce, your children are going to fare better. Children are struggling with many things when going through a divorce including changes to their routines, coping with the loss of the structured family unit and more. If fighting is added on top of this, children are going to have a difficult time adjusting.

As parents, the best thing you can do for your children is focus on being kind to one another. Yes, you are divorcing because your marriage didn't work out. However, your child or children are a result of happier times in your marriage. It should be your joint goal to make them as comfortable as possible during your divorce, even if it causes you some discomfort to do so.

Plan for peace as you embark on life after divorce

Divorce is a difficult time for both spouses who have to make adjustments to every aspect of their lives. When you add kids into the situation, everything becomes more difficult. Not only are you dealing with the logistical matters, but you also have to think about the emotional challenges.

Anyone who is going through a divorce should ensure that they are taking care of themselves. This is a big part of having a successful start to your new life. On top of that, there are other things you can do to set the best tone for your single life.

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