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Tips to take to the divorce negotiating table

Divorces are often messy, emotional and complicated. You will have to start a new life without the person you thought you would be with forever. In addition, you will have to work out who gets what and figure out a custody arrangement that is beneficial to your children. While some couples choose to let a judge decide the outcome, others choose to negotiate a settlement without someone else making decisions on their behalf.

If you are planning to divorce and you and your husband want to attempt to negotiate out of court, there are things you can do to prepare for the process. While your attorney will be your greatest source of information when it comes to negotiating a settlement, the following tips to prepare for a settlement may also be beneficial.

Leave your emotions at the door

The negotiating table is not the place to vent all your frustrations, anger and hurt feelings about your divorce. Instead, think of it like a business transaction and let reason and logic rule. If you let your emotions get the better of you, you may end up with a settlement that does not meet all of your needs.

Be prepared to compromise

When you sit down at the table, keep in mind that you will not get everything. However, neither will he. If you want the main residence in Minneapolis, you better be prepared to give up something else. Prepare a list of what you truly want from the settlement and the items you are willing to let go of. Also, listen to his side and reasons for wanting certain things. If you are polite, courteous and willing to compromise, he might be, too.

Don't rush the process

While you may want to everything over and done as soon as possible, it is important to take your time and not rush the process. If there are any terms you are not clear on, ask questions. If things are getting too stressful, take a break and give yourself time to gather your thoughts and emotions. The outcome of your divorce settlement will have a huge effect on your life in terms of your finances, where you live, and possibly how the two of you will raise your children. It is important that you participate and stay focused so that you get the settlement you deserve.

If you are headed for divorce, take the time to prepare yourself for the process. When dividing high-value assets and making decisions concerning the future of your children, you should be able to remain clear-headed and focused.

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