To protect your safety in response to the threat of COVID-19, we are offering our clients the ability to meet with us in person, via telephone or through video conferencing. Please call our office to discuss your options.

Dealing with a narcissistic ex on child custody matters
  1. Home
  2.  → 
  3. Firm News
  4.  → Dealing with a narcissistic ex on child custody matters

Dealing with a narcissistic ex on child custody matters

Being involved in a relationship with someone who’s a narcissist is a challenge. When you have children with them, walking away might not be such an easy feat because you’ll have to figure out how to work out the custody matters. This can feel like a hopeless battle because of the ways of the narcissist.

There are several things that you will need to do if you’re in this position. The key here is to remember that you need to protect yourself while you ensure that your child’s needs are kept at the heart of the situation.

Use documented communication

Direct verbal communication with a narcissist is one of the avenues that they might be able to use to get to you. Instead of relying on this method, use a documented form of communication so that what’s said is recorded. This can help you if you ever need to show that your ex is being a bully or trying to force you to go along with their wishes.

Having everything documented is also helpful if there is ever a question about what’s supposed to happen. This gives you something in writing about anything you agree to with your ex, which can be helpful if they try to change things up later.

Keep your emotions to yourself

One of the ways that a narcissist feels powerful is by getting an emotional reaction out of their victims. Not giving that to them benefits you greatly but it might cause them to get angry. While it is natural to have an emotional response to their tactics, try to let those go when they aren’t around. It might help if you have a trusted person you can turn to when you need to talk about things.

Help your children overcome

Your children might begin to feel like victims as they deal with your ex’s antics. Instead of falling into that victim mentality, try to help them find ways to overcome the negativity. This might take work, but it’s important that they see how healthy relationships form so they can work on building those as they grow up.

Your parenting plan may also help as you deal with a narcissistic ex on child custody matters. The terms of the agreement can spell out the requirements for every area of the situation from the schedule to the communication guidelines.