Some people see a divorce coming and they can try to prepare for it; however, it is much more difficult to deal with one that you didn’t know was coming. It is shocking to realize how many marriages end even though the spouses reported that they were in low-conflict divorces.
In the United States, only around 15% of couples who were heading toward a divorce were high-conflict couples, but 66% were low-conflict couples. Looking into the root cause of those divorces might shed some light on why seemingly happy marriages are failing so much.
An oblivious spouse
One issue that might contribute to the low-conflict marriage leading to divorce is that one spouse is oblivious to the issue. They might think that everything is fine with the marriage but the other person is having an affair or is just generally tired of how things are going.
Sometimes, the issue is that one spouse is so unhappy that they aren’t willing to argue any longer. Both spouses might even feel this way, but it is possible that neither person is unhappy and there is little conflict when the divorce occurs.
When divorces shock
When there isn’t any conflict or unhappiness in the marriage, the divorce can come as a surprise for everyone involved. This can have a negative impact on the children because they never anticipated their parents splitting and destroying the only home unit they have ever known. In some cases, they might blame themselves.
It often isn’t as surprising for the kids when parents who fight a lot divorce. In some cases, the kids might feel a sense of relief knowing that the turmoil is ending and each parent will have their own space instead of constantly fighting in one home.
For everyone who is oblivious to the fact that the marriage is deteriorating, learning about the divorce is traumatizing. As the adult, you might be struggling to handle your own emotions, which can make it hard to work with the children to manage theirs. Ultimately, you’re going to have to take a proactive approach and protect your own interests.
No matter how you find out that you’re going to have to endure a divorce, you need to turn your attention to the divorce settlement or award. Preparing for the fight to get what’s best for you is imperative. Knowing what to expect ahead of time might help you to remain calm while you’re going through everything.