Kids adjust to divorce, but it can take time. As someone who is a busy executive, the idea of a divorce can be daunting when it involves your kids, because you don’t necessarily have a lot of time to sit down with them and guide them through the process. You and your spouse have always been very busy, but the divorce has completely changed the way you’ll need to raise your children.
Though you are busy, it would be helpful to schedule in times to talk to your children, to spend a few hours with them doing things they love and to plan out how their custody schedule will look with their input. Think of it like a business deal: It will probably take more than one to get the job done, but each meeting will make the end result better.
With limited time, how can you help your kids during divorce?
If you have older children, it might not take much to help them adjust. For example, a 15- or 16-year-old child might already be used to staying home a few hours at a time without any parents around, and they might be at an age where they can drive from one home to another, so transferring custody isn’t an issue. Instead, what you should focus on is talking to them about what kind of schedule they’re okay with and how they’re feeling about the separation. Let them have time to ask questions and get the answers they need to be comfortable.
For younger children, it’s a little more difficult. Fortunately, busy parents often have things in place already to help relieve time-related stress. For example, you may have day care or a nanny for your kids. If that will remain the same, you should let your children know. You can also talk to them about how they’ll spend time in each home or about nesting, if you plan to keep the family home with your ex-spouse. Younger children will need more reassurance, so it will be helpful if you can take more time with them to make sure they know that they matter and that the divorce was not any fault of theirs.
Having limited time can make divorcing with kids more complicated, but it’s by no means impossible. Plan to set aside time for your children and their needs more often in the coming months, and you’ll be there when they need you.