Having to deal with your ex on child custody matters usually isn't an easy feat. The issue is made even more complex when your ex decides that he is going to speak ill of you to your children and others. When this happens, you will have to decide how you will handle the matter.
One thing is for certain — it is better to keep your emotions out of the situation when you respond to the other parent badmouthing you. By keeping your emotions out of the mix, you can focus on how your replies will impact you and your children. Consider putting these points into your plan:
Address the negative comments
You might be able to include information in the child custody agreement that notates that neither parent is supposed to speak negatively of the other parent. Think about how much these negative comments, even ones made in passing, can affect the children. Even though you and your ex aren't together, there still needs to be mutual respect between the two parents. You might not be able to control what your ex says about you to other people, but the comments shouldn't ever be made in front of the kids.
Try to remain calm
It is easy to fly off the handle when you find out that someone is speaking ill of you. This isn't a good thing to do when you are in the middle of a child custody situation. It is better to remain calm, even if that means having to step away from the situation for a bit. You are showing your children that it is usually better to be the bigger person.
Choose an appropriate way to defend yourself
If you do feel the need to defend yourself, do so away from the children. Try to speak to your ex when they aren't around so that they aren't privy to what is being said. Additionally, choose an appropriate time to do this. Confrontations like this are better done in private.
There is a chance that you will have to head into mediation or find another method to address these issues. If the negativity starts to impact your relationship with your children, you might want to consider looking into the legal aspects of the situation. There isn't any reasons why the children should have to suffer because of the way things have been going with you and the other parent.